JUUC "The Social Talk Program"- Child Discipline and the typical Nigerian family
-By Utibeabasi Okokon Bassey
The issue of discipline has been a debated one in every part of some climes. For some, advocacy for the need for parents to use non-physical means to discipline the child is glaringly loud. For other climes, predominate in Africa for example, it is just the opposite. To them, "actions speak louder than words".
Now, while this theory is somewhat sound, it is important to note that it is rather irrelevant to impose a definite way of ensuring discipline in a child. Certain factors such as culture, the child’s personality, etc, should influence the method of discipline used on the child.
In Nigeria, we believe a child must endure physical pain in order correct a deviant behaviour. While some may think this will be helpful, contrary predictions have hauled this positioning down the drains, having considered the fact that no child wants to experience pain. However, Many Nigerian parents in the abject reasoning of the cruel discipline principle hopefully abetted, have waxed dominantly stronger in its use as a platform to abuse their children, all in the name of discipline. It’s imperative that the line between abuse and discipline be drawn, and that oversized, cruel discipline will put children in no shoes than those filled with needless physical and emotional pain.
Looking succinctly from the legal view, every
Nigerian child has a right to freedom from torture, as stated in Section 34, Subsection 1 of the 1999 republican constitution of Nigeria. Control is the important factor which marks the distinction between discipline and torture. A young boy may be subjected to three strokes of the cane as punishment for lying. It’s rather irrelevant to start beating the boy all over his body just because he lied. Caning a child at the back is also absurd. Ideally, the child should be caned on the palm, or the buttocks (preferably for the male child). Worse still, some go as far as using wires and belts on their young children.
Note that parents who can’t afford a cane shouldn’t be able to afford a belt as well. It’s important to note that discipline follows a bilateral process. The parent must also be disciplined in his caning methods.
As the days go, Many Modern Nigerians are under the illusion that wrongful use of a cane on a child is the only form of abuse, and while some decide the use of canes is old-fashioned and holds no relationship with modernity, others feel abusing their children in entirely different ways is a good replacement for the Caning system.
This among other inimical vices for punishment may include denying a child dinner which is certainly not an appropriate punishment. Subjecting an eight year old girl to sweeping of an enormous compound isn’t practical either. Punishments are meant to correct deviant behaviour. Rather than correct it, such punishments could fuel up rage in the child.
Note: Actions do speak louder than words but some words hurt worse than actions.
Some Nigerian parents feel discipline is achieved when they call their children names or compare them to other children. This may technically be the worst kind of abuse because "a child can forgive you for slapping him but never for insulting his pride".
It is important we, Nigerians ask ourselves the vital question: who is a parent? A parent isn’t just one who gives birth to a child; rather, a parent is one who takes care of a child. As an orphaned adult, you are a parent to your younger brother. As a teacher, you are a parent to your students. Such positioning puts you in the position to discipline the child.
But then, As a closing remark, it is mandatory for you to remember that discipline is many things, but not abuse.
The issue of discipline has been a debated one in every part of some climes. For some, advocacy for the need for parents to use non-physical means to discipline the child is glaringly loud. For other climes, predominate in Africa for example, it is just the opposite. To them, "actions speak louder than words".
Now, while this theory is somewhat sound, it is important to note that it is rather irrelevant to impose a definite way of ensuring discipline in a child. Certain factors such as culture, the child’s personality, etc, should influence the method of discipline used on the child.
In Nigeria, we believe a child must endure physical pain in order correct a deviant behaviour. While some may think this will be helpful, contrary predictions have hauled this positioning down the drains, having considered the fact that no child wants to experience pain. However, Many Nigerian parents in the abject reasoning of the cruel discipline principle hopefully abetted, have waxed dominantly stronger in its use as a platform to abuse their children, all in the name of discipline. It’s imperative that the line between abuse and discipline be drawn, and that oversized, cruel discipline will put children in no shoes than those filled with needless physical and emotional pain.
Looking succinctly from the legal view, every
Nigerian child has a right to freedom from torture, as stated in Section 34, Subsection 1 of the 1999 republican constitution of Nigeria. Control is the important factor which marks the distinction between discipline and torture. A young boy may be subjected to three strokes of the cane as punishment for lying. It’s rather irrelevant to start beating the boy all over his body just because he lied. Caning a child at the back is also absurd. Ideally, the child should be caned on the palm, or the buttocks (preferably for the male child). Worse still, some go as far as using wires and belts on their young children.
Note that parents who can’t afford a cane shouldn’t be able to afford a belt as well. It’s important to note that discipline follows a bilateral process. The parent must also be disciplined in his caning methods.
As the days go, Many Modern Nigerians are under the illusion that wrongful use of a cane on a child is the only form of abuse, and while some decide the use of canes is old-fashioned and holds no relationship with modernity, others feel abusing their children in entirely different ways is a good replacement for the Caning system.
This among other inimical vices for punishment may include denying a child dinner which is certainly not an appropriate punishment. Subjecting an eight year old girl to sweeping of an enormous compound isn’t practical either. Punishments are meant to correct deviant behaviour. Rather than correct it, such punishments could fuel up rage in the child.
Note: Actions do speak louder than words but some words hurt worse than actions.
Some Nigerian parents feel discipline is achieved when they call their children names or compare them to other children. This may technically be the worst kind of abuse because "a child can forgive you for slapping him but never for insulting his pride".
It is important we, Nigerians ask ourselves the vital question: who is a parent? A parent isn’t just one who gives birth to a child; rather, a parent is one who takes care of a child. As an orphaned adult, you are a parent to your younger brother. As a teacher, you are a parent to your students. Such positioning puts you in the position to discipline the child.
But then, As a closing remark, it is mandatory for you to remember that discipline is many things, but not abuse.
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