Domestic Violence: A Two Edged Sword

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 Written by Happiness Boniface

"...the other day, I made sure I injured him. I usually beat the hell out of him when he misbehaves..."



Photo Credit: Blogs Iadb

Despite the advancement of society, there exists an offensive beast that has not been easy to tame: domestic violence.


One would think that the sentence above should have come from a man but no, it came from a married woman who beats her husband regularly. The above sentence was culled from a conversation I heard in a salon. Mrs A was telling Mrs. B how her husband beats her up. Mrs B responded with how she too treats her husband with the sentence above.  And yet, the few cases of domestic violence that make it to the public are that of women.


According to national statistics of domestic violence control, one out of four women suffer domestic violence, and only about a few of them speak up or live to tell the tale.


Also, statistically, about ten percent of victim population are men who suffer in silence. After all, who would want to be a 'woman wrapper', beaten by a woman. To this extent, these victims do not talk about their traumatic experiences.


In Nigeria today, hearing commotion in the next flat where a couple resides is no new thing. This brings us to the questions: 


How did we get here? Husbands beating wives, wives stalking husbands and vice versa, husbands raping wibes,wives raping husbands?  Has this become the standard for an institution that is responsible for raising children?


With the alarming rate of  domestic violence which ranges from stalking, to verbal abuse, and sometimes even rape, there is a need for not only individuals but all hands to be on deck. Governmental and non-governmental organisations should organise marriage counselling, both in schools and work places, for interested individuals. 


Legal facilities should be put in place to aid parties who want to walk away from abusive marriages. Moreover, the society needs to be re-educated that marriage is not a do or die affair, thus, stigmatisation of persons who run away from abusive marriages is rather unnecessary and uncultured.


After all, marriage is for companionship, not for a make-shift wrestling match.

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